"Her mind, her ability to search for answers. When you face adversity, Vanessa is there" -Stephanie

A much desired sister…
--whose arrival led to our moving to our home up the street on Pinecrest where she eventually lived ---most of her life.
--Vanessa, named in honor of a butterfly.
--became a teacher, a writer, a chaser after difficult goals.
--a rebel who ended up in the “family business” as a professor but whose goal was to describe the nitty-gritty which would make her students truly able to serve those in greatest need.

Remember 9/11? Guess who was down at Ground Zero and why?
--Vanessa and her students served families who didn’t have support systems to deal with their murdered or missing relatives, lost and perhaps somewhat forgotten.

Who was in Texas and Georgia, in screenless motels, visiting miserable “detention facilities” for those seeking a safe place in the U.S.? Trapped because their homelands had been taken over by autocrats - either feckless leaders or frightening gangs - and needing help to tell their stories?
--Vanessa and her students.

And before that, who, studying healthcare situations, was well versed as a counselor to my daughter Kerstin?
--Working on her senior thesis on pregnant women and HIV/AIDS - and seeking input, Kerstin turned to her aunt with whom she had a clear affinity. Indeed, she ended up attending Vanessa’s alma maters - first Harvard and then NYU Law from which she went into public interest law, representing the vulnerable.

Vanessa was a model.
--And can she write! Some of the most beautiful tributes in memory of my daughter Kerstin have come from Vanessa’s pen. She sends birthday cards that I can’t put away because the messages are so special. She writes with care and style that is truly evocative. And as she retires, has just had a paper accepted for publication this spring.

Who works hard?
--How many times did my phone ring in California to hear Vanessa catching up as she drove home from the office - at 11 pm my time! She has a desire to do her best, no matter how much it takes.
--Vanessa never takes the easy way - from local politics to helping family members with legal matters. She never gives up. Her home is filled with files of battles eventually won, no matter how many years it took.

Who sees the talents of her family?
--Vanessa sees straight through to enjoy the talents of her family, too. She sees Steven as her true love and partner, no matter the struggle. She listens carefully when he shares his ideas and opinions. He shares her with those who need her attention while doing his own good and caring work at Legal Aid.
--As a mother, she sees the efforts of Darrow and Rebecca to bring better order to our world. And again, deeply relies on their caring involvement in her efforts. I have records of her delight with their growing knowledge and adventurous explorations of our world. Appreciating knowing a wide variety of environments and the amazing experiences of cultural diversity.
--My matron of honor as Tom and I started our official life together, surrounded by our children and our family and friends. Vanessa and Tom shared vibrant minds.
--And Vanessa never forgot a relative, including our maternal family long in New Jersey. She kept up with them and visited and remembered those long gone, such as our maternal grandmother who lived with us. Indeed, Rebecca Suzanne honors both our grandmother and mother while Darrow Slade points to a legal giant and a favorite band.
--When our mother was facing her final illness, Vanessa not only was teaching and caring for her children, both young, but, after work, managed the medication flowing to help ease the way, only one of many ways she made those final months precious. But for years earlier, she made our mother’s life more expansive and happier.
--When our dad was saying his good-byes, Vanessa returned to New York to support his way of bowing out while our brother Bob was checking with the presumed publisher of his final book to give an answer so our dad would know the outcome for sure.

Who is a reader of scope and delight?
--Vanessa is. I remember vividly when she, our paternal aunt Emma, and I shared rooms as we and our parents traveled in southern France and Italy. I was a college rising junior; she was almost 10. However, she found the book I was reading and proceeded to devour it. Was it “Sons and Lovers”? She would recall, no doubt. She kept up with us, without complaint, no matter which ruin, church, art museum, we visited.

Who cared for the plants and animals that came her way?
--Plants and animals will remember her care. She, like our mother, was a gardener in her “spare” time, taking joy in reviving rhododendrons and planting annuals, seeing sprouting hyacinths and cascades of azaleas. Cats filled our home as she grew up; later, it was individual cats needing a home that became family companions, including one born in Israel.

Who grew up in the Pinecrest Association, our neighborhood group born of potential conflict but mostly remembered for singing carols at the juncture of the Drive and Parkway?
--Neighbors and friends mean the world to Vanessa, watching how they progress and enjoying their victories. Keeping an eye on preserving the beauty of Hudson River views and the caretaking of the homes and gardens. Knowing the village so well and remembering the challenges to keeping it the family-oriented place it has been are important to her. During COVID, walks here meant pure joy to her.
--Vanessa was fortunate to be recognized by organizations that she respected and she appreciated their confidence in her. She never lapsed in her support for those about whose efforts she was impressed.

When you face adversity, Vanessa is there. Her mind, her ability to search for answers, her willingness to grind out the final document, to question the supposed answer, and to sense your feelings about the contest give so many of us the support we need to soldier on, to accept the pain, and to stay the course. We love and treasure you, Vanessa.

Stephanie T